• Miss Melly

How to keep going when it's hard

Resiliency...generally something we don't know we have until we need it, right?

Something unexpected or troublesome happens and generally, our thoughts go to anger, sadness, hurt, grief, pain...but those who use these experiences to bounce back? They have what we generally refer to as 'resiliency'.

Resiliency is described as

"the ability to be happy, successful etc. again after something difficult or bad has happened"

Cambridge dictionary

Being resilient isn't about 'putting up with it'.

It's about overcoming.

And adapting.


It's not letting that adversity keep you down.

Being persistent.

When we develop resiliency, we can see past that adversity.

And don't think I'm saying that once you develop resiliency that the adversity will go away - unfortunately it doesn't.

I know, right?

Bleh...thx for that reminder, Mel.

Instead, we use our resiliency to grow through that adversity.

If we have strong levels of persistence, we are more motivated to find a way around obstacles - persisting despite setbacks or failures.

Persistency and resiliency go hand in hand.

Persistency is considered one of the discrete scales of the Entrepreneurial Mindset Profile™.

Why? Because it's important in developing & sustaining a business. It's considered one of only 14 key scales.

BUT, having a high Persistence score doesn't always mean it's smooth-sailing when things go wrong. There are downsides to very high scores of Persistency (or for any of the EMP™ scales, to be honest). Think dogged determination when an approach isn't working. Or being able to review & change course where necessary. Yeah..not great. There needs to be a balance. But that's something I dive in to with those I coach through their EMP™ assessment & development. Back to Resiliency.

So what happens when we do encounter obstacles or setbacks?

There are things you can do to prepare yourself so if and when you need to pull out your 'Resiliency toolkit' (I totally just made that up...like it?) you are ready to rock it.


So what's worth considering putting in this Resiliency Toolkit I speak of?

This is the stuff you can store in your toolkit pre-need for it:

1) Know your 'why'

For those of you who have worked with me before, you'll recognise this one. Likewise, if you've followed any of Simon Sinek's work, you'll know this one is the absolute foundation of it.

The power of knowing our purpose helps us access resiliency when we need it.

Knowing your 'why' is the foundation of then figuring out the 'how'.

Knowing your 'why' is your internal motivation.

If you don't know how to find out your 'why', contemplate your values, your purpose, what 'lights you up inside'.

When our 'why' is known and ingrained in us, we can draw upon that in times of adversity.

It helps keep us focussed on the mission and where we want to head - despite the setbacks.

Do the work to develop your 'why' now, before the adversity hits.

2) Have a Plan B...and C...and D

Always have a back up plan (where possible).

Contingency plans are vital for things that are 'within the scope'.

Things like work, insurances, finances.

Obviously we can't develop back up plans for things not in the foreseeable future, like illness, loss, natural disasters etc.

So just focus on back up plans for those things you can develop them for.

And these are the things to bring out from the toolkit in the event of adversity:

3) Turn to your support network you can trust

Seeking support from people you know you can trust is vital. Spend time building relationships when the going is good. Spending time with loved ones and your business support network (aka business besties) can help you cope through times of difficulty. Having the ability to 'offload' with like-minded souls who truly have your best interests at heart - that's worth its weight in gold.

4) The glass is half full - reframe your thoughts and avoid that downward spiral

Yep. I'm going there on the positive thinking thing.

That negative thinking downward spiral is only going to take you further down.

Focus on the good that there is.

Practice gratitude.

Pay attention to what messages you are telling yourself - are you speaking to yourself as you would speak to your best friend? If not, reframe it.

5) But most of all - your job is to care for yourself. Self-care really is everything.

Healthy habits are essential when experiencing adversity, setbacks & difficulties. Even though your head might be functioning below-par, you absolutely need to look after your body & soul. Think: exercise (healthy body, healthy mind), eating well, healthy sleep habits, doing things that make your heart sing (I talk more about this over on my Urrthmumma profile).

To have a Resiliency Toolkit, you need to prepare ahead of time so you have things in place to draw upon when you need them (although I truly hope you don't need them much).

If you are facing a time where you need to draw upon your resiliency, I hope these tools have given you a little help on your way back up. You've got this. And if you are struggling, be sure to utilise Beyond Blue and Lifeline - there's no shame in admitting you are struggling. Help is out there.

If the Entrepreneurial Mindset Profile™ assessment & coaching is something you'd like to know more about, be sure to get in touch here.

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